THING I REGRET

2 Corinthian 7:10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

Do you have things you regret of doing it, but you have nothing to do but to accept the result of what you did?

When I was in high school I pursued to study in Polytechnic University of the Philippines, a State University in Philippines. This University offered a12 pesos/unit tuition fee the lowest tuition fee in

South East Asia. Students in this University pursuing studies here have a goal having a better life afterwards. PUP belongs to top 15 University in Philippines according to Commission on Higher Education competing to other prestigious Universities. It does not only offer low cost tuition fee but home of top notches and leaders.

I took, Polytechnic University of the Philippines College Entrance Examination (PUPCET). Before, I did not expect to pass the exam and yet I did it. I took Bachelor in Office Administration because I just want to be a simple person who wants to work inside an office.

Polytechnic University of the Philippines, Mabini Campus, Sta. Mesa, Manila

Sending me to school is not simple thing to my parents for reason of financial.  My father is fish ball vendor while my mother is just plain house wife. My father's profit to his whole day selling of fish balls is not adequate for our everyday expenses including my allowance for food and transportation going to school. I still remember how I sacrificed to finish my first semester in college. I felt I was carrying the big cross going to Calvary of sacrifice. Do you experience searching money I will use to pay for my books? Walking 3 kilometers going to train station because you have only 20 pesos and you can't afford to ride tricycle because you have only for paying tickets back and forth of riding train. Starving on school lucky if you have 2 pesos to buy candy and Automatic Tubig Machine mineral water.

Days after first semester, supposedly, our Semester break it changed my life into a gloomy tragedy that happened in our family. My father died not in accident or he has illness, but he was killed. We don't know the purpose of those evil persons who did inhuman brutal killing to a person like my father. He is such person who has his own affirmation. A father wanted the food he will give to his family would come from his work- to his blood and sweat. Many persons who know my father said how kind he is. Asking why those persons who have kindhearted got first. Why not those who do badly will die.

Right now, I have guilt on my feelings because if I were not pursuing to continue my study still my father will not sell fish ball on weekends. He passed away October 17, 2010, Sunday. Maybe right now he is still alive if I listened to him to stop. That day, I will never forget forever. The day we will celebrate for he found peace right now in heaven together with all angels and saints beside our God.

Pa, wherever you are right now. I am missing you. I have regretted all. You sacrificed a lot for the sake of your morality as person. I did not do anything just to have justice with your death. I know you always told to us "you fight if you know you are not the one who did first, and don’t ever afraid to die because people will die when it is their time. If it is your time, it's your time". Pa, you are such wonderful person I know. You wouldn't see what you need to yourself but always for us. I couldn’t remember you buy clothes, shorts, brief, and pants for yourself. I already know the hardships you were experiencing before just to give our needs. Pa, thank you for everything. I will not let anybody harm Mama and Mayang of anybody else. I will follow my dreams, your dreams for me and to our family. I know you don't want to have a wealthy that we have all, but simple but contented life with a smile in our lips.