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| 2 Corinthian 7:10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
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Do
you have things you regret of doing it, but you have nothing to do but to
accept the result of what you did?
When
I was in high school I pursued to study in Polytechnic University of the
Philippines, a State University in Philippines. This University offered a12
pesos/unit tuition fee the lowest tuition fee in
South
East Asia. Students in this University pursuing studies here have a goal having
a better life afterwards. PUP belongs to top 15 University in Philippines
according to Commission on Higher Education competing to other prestigious
Universities. It does not only offer low cost tuition fee but home of top
notches and leaders.
I
took, Polytechnic University of the Philippines College Entrance Examination
(PUPCET). Before, I did not expect to pass the exam and yet I did it. I took
Bachelor in Office Administration because I just want to be a simple person who
wants to work inside an office.
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| Polytechnic University of the Philippines, Mabini Campus, Sta. Mesa, Manila |
Sending
me to school is not simple thing to my parents for reason of financial. My father is fish ball vendor while my mother
is just plain house wife. My father's profit to his whole day selling of fish
balls is not adequate for our everyday expenses including my allowance for food
and transportation going to school. I still remember how I sacrificed to finish
my first semester in college. I felt I was carrying the big cross going to Calvary
of sacrifice. Do you experience searching money I will use to pay for my books?
Walking 3 kilometers going to train station because you have only 20 pesos and
you can't afford to ride tricycle because you have only for paying tickets back
and forth of riding train. Starving on school lucky if you have 2 pesos to buy
candy and Automatic Tubig Machine mineral water.
Days
after first semester, supposedly, our Semester break it changed my life into a
gloomy tragedy that happened in our family. My father died not in accident or
he has illness, but he was killed. We don't know the purpose of those evil
persons who did inhuman brutal killing to a person like my father. He is such person
who has his own affirmation. A father wanted the food he will give to his
family would come from his work- to his blood
and sweat. Many persons who know my father said how kind he is. Asking why
those persons who have kindhearted got first. Why not those who do badly will
die.
Right
now, I have guilt on my feelings because if I were not pursuing to continue my
study still my father will not sell fish ball on weekends. He passed away
October 17, 2010, Sunday. Maybe right now he is still alive if I listened to
him to stop. That day, I will never forget forever. The day we will celebrate
for he found peace right now in heaven together with all angels and saints
beside our God.
Pa, wherever you
are right now. I am missing you. I have regretted all. You sacrificed a lot for
the sake of your morality as person. I did not do anything just to have justice
with your death. I know you always told to us "you fight if you know you
are not the one who did first, and don’t ever afraid to die because people will
die when it is their time. If it is your time, it's your time". Pa, you
are such wonderful person I know. You wouldn't see what you need to yourself
but always for us. I couldn’t remember you buy clothes, shorts, brief, and
pants for yourself. I already know the hardships you were experiencing before
just to give our needs. Pa, thank you for everything. I will not let anybody
harm Mama and Mayang of anybody else. I will follow my dreams, your dreams for
me and to our family. I know you don't want to have a wealthy that we have all,
but simple but contented life with a smile in our lips.
